Honoring your Pet’s Energy/Life Force
“Grief is Gratitude”
It’s been a year since losing “my soul” dog Izzy. I honestly had no idea how losing a pet would affect me until I had to say goodbye to my first dog. Each pet that comes into our life brings with it different connections and different gifts so that we can learn from and treasure them even after loss. I honestly think that one of the reasons animals have such short lifespans, compared to ours, is because each animal brings with them something that will help us on this journey known as life.
My dog Izzy got me through my 20s and 30s. She was my adventure dog and we shared many special trips together during her 16 years of life. Izzy loved me, but she wasn’t excited about children! I started a family in my late 30s and I remember bringing my son home from the hospital. I had this belief that Izzy would immediately fall in love with my son and they would be the best of friends. I chuckle know thinking about that Christmas Eve night. We came through the door and Izzy was of course excited to see me. I showed her the baby and she immediately turned and went and pouted in a far corner of the house with her back to me! She stayed there for almost an entire day, she was so stubborn. After that she decided that her new job was to protect the new addition, (even saving my son’s life once )but she always remained aloof to him. I know she loved both of my kids (we lost her when my son was 3.5 and my daughter was 1). Izzy was the perfect dog for my this time period in my life, and now that my heart is opening up to allow a new dog in, I think about how much of an affect a new dog will have during the next stage of my life, growing up with my two kids. I am honestly excited for this next chapter, a feeling I never thought I would have.
Losing a pet is so hard for our human’s hearts. Animal’s have this way of connecting with us on a very deep level. For all of my clients and for anyone who has found this page, I want you to know that you are not alone. The loss of a pet and the grief that comes with that should be shared with others. I created this page to help you navigate the loss of your pet. The tools I have created helped me navigated the pain I felt when I lost Izzy and they brought me some inner peace.
I am here for you! I have put a little message box at the bottom of this page. Share your feelings with me (they will remain private) and know that I am listening. Together we can heal.
Transforming Pain and Loss
Use the journal recommendations below to write out how your pet transformed your life. Connect to your gut and allow yourself to cry. Tap into your inner wisdom and feel how your pet’s love has transform you. If you feel like sharing what you have learned, use the form below to connect with me so that we can bring you inner healing and peace.
Question 1: Look at each bullet point and number those bullet points from 1 (most likely) to 5 (least likely). What is it that your pet brought out in you?
Physical Health/Wellness-
My pet made me a healthier person.
I exercised every day because of my pet.
I slept more comfortably and woke refreshed sleeping near/with my pet.
My diet was better when I was with my pet.
I feel I took better care of myself because of my pet.
Emotional Health/Wellness- Mindfulness, Positive Self-Talk, Gratitude
My pet helped facilitate a work/life balance
My pet helped me participate in hobbies I enjoy!
I felt safe when my pet was with me
I felt I could tell my pet anything and they would never judge me
I felt grateful for each day because of my pet
I learned new things because of my pet
Social/Connection- Connecting with others, relationships
I made new friends and connections because of my pet
My pet got me out of the house and interacting with my neighbors & community
Because of my pet I spent more time with others
My connection with my family was facilitate by my pet
I had more in depth conversations with family and friends when my pet was in the room
Spiritual (beliefs, time in nature, reflection)
My pet helped me spend more time in nature
During this time I felt gratitude for what life has given me
My pet helped me connect to my inner voice/intuition
My pet facilitated my support for a cause that was important to me
My pet brought me the value of time
Question 2: Our pets connect us to a deeper kind of energy? What did your pet connect you to? Rate the following from 1-10- 1 being the most important to 10 being least important.
Comfort & Relaxation
Positive Mental Health
Adventure & Freedom
Self Care & Expression
Spirituality & Nature
Gratitude & Peace
Community & Family
Safety & Security
Physical Health & Activity
Intuition/Inner voice
Question 3: What color do you think of when you think about your pet? One you identify the color how can you tap into these gifts in your daily life?
Red- Located at the base of the spine - this red chakra promotes a feeling of heat and a connectedness to the earth. This color and chakra is very primal and holds vibrations of survival and basic drives and like hunger and safety.
Orange- Located at the pelvis - this orange chakra promotes energy and creativity. Those feelings of warmth and security radiate upwards allowing the freedom to explore creativity.
Yellow-A stable foundation (root) leads to creative exploration (sacral) and our solar plexus chakra has the “guts” to take it into action. A sense of will, drive, strength, desire, and optimism. Yellows like the golden sun are bright social colors that wake us up and get us moving in the mornings.
Green - “Come back to the heart center.“ A cue and some good advice whether it’s in class, in love, in exploration… This part of the chakra system is where your divine self and your human self meet right at the heart. Green represents health and growth.
Blue-Expression is powerful. To be able to speak your truth, to have an honest and open line of communication within yourself and with how you express yourself to the world. Blue is a color of duty, trust, logic, and intelligence. I need……I feel……
Indigo- The seat of intuition. Indigo has a feeling of peace, wisdom, and patience to it and a significant sense of spirituality. This deep color even has a bit of magic to it. Intuition is our greatest magical power if we have the support to listen to its vibration.
Violet or White- Acts of service or love - stepping outside of yourself in order to help another.
Question 4: What feelings come to mind when you think of your relationship with your pet?
Choose your top three! Or list other feelings you cherish!
Joy
Fearlessness
Outgoing
Openness to life
Peace
Connection
Courage
Gratitude
Love
Forgiveness
Safety
Action Steps:
Option 1: Write down your top three cherished feelings that your pet connected you to each day in your journal. When you wake up each morning ask yourself: How can I honor my pet today by sharing _____________emotion with others?
Option 2: Make a goal to create time to express one of your top three emotions today. For example. My pet brought me joy. I want to share that joy with a friend by making them cookies to give to them today.
Option 3: Write down a story about the emotion expressed through your relationship with your pet and the gratitude you have for this gift.
Option 4: Move your body in expression of the emotion or create something out of the emotion with art, cooking or other self-expression.
Honoring the Love of Your Pet
Question 1: Spending so many years with a pet can offer us many wonderful gifts! List out all the gifts your pet brought to your life. For example: a stronger body, mental health and positivity, a career change, connections to others facilitated by your pet, a lifestyle change you value to this day.
Question 2: What can you do in the next month to honor the gifts your pet has given you? How can you continue providing the gifts your pet gave you to others-friends/family/community?
Question 3: Based on what you learned about your relationship with your pet, what can you do in the next few months to honor the life you shared with your pet and continue facilitating the healing they brought into the world?
Question 4: What activities did you do with your pet that brought you healing/peace? For example: I went on many road trip/adventures with Izzy. These trips brought lasting memories and an sense of adventure I needed to build my sense of self.
Now, ask yourself, how can I continue those activities moving forward to connect to my inner-self?
Join a group/community that connects us
Help a rescue animal or other animal’s in need
Connect with friend/family member in the same way
Schedule similar activities in nature-hike, walk, camping, etc
Make time for rest, relaxation and self care
Am I happy with my Business/Work, or could I use what I’ve learned from my pet to take a leap towards a passion I’ve discovered
Make time for travel and adventure
Action Steps
Action Step 1: Create a vision or memory board in your home to honor your pet and the gifts they brought you.
Even though your pet’s body is gone, your pet’s healing energy is still present. Create a space in your home that includes pictures, gifts, feelings, colors and affirmations that connect you to the vital part your pet played in your life. Use these tools to reconnect you to your life in a more special and meaningful way.
Action Step 2: Design your ideal week, one that allows you to engage in the activities that you cherished doing with your pet! When we feel sad, look back at your ideal schedule for ideas on what you could do to bring your pet’s light and love into the world.
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Final Thoughts
You and your pet shared something unique and special. Never forget that. Don’t let the pain of losing your pet, disconnect you from that bond. When I lost Izzy, I felt so much pain that I naturally tried to dive into my daily life hoping that the pain would go away. Unfortunately for me, by not honoring the relationship I had with Izzy and listening to the pain I felt, I extended the grief and loss.
6 months after losing Izzy, I had a birthday approaching. I felt so much anxiety inside since birthdays were spent in really special ways with my dog. I dreaded my birthday for the first time ever. 3 days before my birthday I had a dream that I needed to spend my birthday alone at Falling Leaf Lake in Tahoe. Izzy and I had spent many years camping together at Falling Leaf Lake. I checked the website for reservations and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I found one night available (my birthday), it was a yurt rental. I knew that this trip would be connect me to the pain I was avoiding, but I knew it was an important step to take to invite the healing I needed into my heart.
My story is definitely one of transformation and aw. I realized through journaling, crying, laughing and action how to heal during this trip. You can do it too! Listen to your heart, your inner voice and intuition. It will guide you.
I am also here to listen if you need to share your heart. Your information will remain confidential.
Saying Goodbye- Silent Pain- (Izzy 2005-2021)
I wrote this journal to help me through the feelings of loss that I had after losing Izzy. It has been 1 year now and I have moved into a place of transforming my pain into growth, peace and love. I have left this journal in hopes it will help others connect to and move through their own feelings of grief and loss.
Growing up I always loved animals. I begged my parents endlessly to get me a dog. It wasn’t until I was 27 that I adopted my first dog, Izzy. I was lucky enough to share 15 years with my best friend. This past December I had to say goodbye to Izzy. As pet parents we do our best to make the right decisions for our dogs and their health but unfortunately we can’t control the outcome of those decisions. I wish that I had listened to my intuition and feel that if I had Izzy would still be with me. I have so much guilt for how things turned out and my experience of losing her was so much more sudden than I expected. I still come out of my bedroom looking for her and when I go for walks I still reach for her leash and collar. When an animal is integrated into the foundation of a person’s life losing them shakes a person to their core and a great sadness and depression has a way of kicking in.
Izzy was my heart dog, losing here has ripped open this gaping hole in my heart and I feel so alone in this pain. No one can understand the kind of relationship you have with your dog, living with your best friend day after day. When I cry and share my pain, people feel uncomfortable and say things like, “well you gave her the best life possible” or “she’s just a dog, you’ll find another great dog.” I find now that I no longer try to talk to people about how much I’m hurting and now it has turned into this silent pain. How does a person grieve for a pet in a way that allows them to move forward in life? For now, I’m stuck in grief purgatory, not being able to go back in time to change decisions and not knowing how to move forward without her by my side.
Time for me doesn’t heal pain. When I say that Izzy was my best friend, I mean it. She did everything with me and now as I move about my life, I feel her absence like a dark cloud over my head. Some people can get rid of the bed, bowl, collar and leash and have a fresh start but for me those are the least of my problems. My whole life was an invitation for us to share special moments together. I can’t stop living, so how do I heal when every moment without her makes me filled with grief that she isn’t there?
I’ve created some memorials in my house for Izzy. My husband made this beautiful box for her ashes and I have pictures up of all the special memories we shared together. I think that maybe I’ve gone overboard though. I just can’t stomach the thought of Izzy not being around for the next decade and I guess I thought if her pictures were everywhere it would be like she was still with me. I had a client tell me once that Izzy’s spirit will always be with me and that I could call for her anytime and I would feel her presence with me. I have honestly held on to this thought as a way to facilitate some closure and healing. I think that it has helped.
It seems totally unfair how short an animal’s life is compared to ours. The pain I feel from Izzy’s loss it worst than I could have imagined. I wonder if I will have the courage to love another dog in the future. I wonder, will my heart heal and open up and make room for another soul. The gifts of a companion animal are so abundant and I truly do believe that so much of what I love about my life is because of my dog’s presence in my life. Izzy taught me about love and communication, compassion and adventure, the wisdom found in listening, tapping into our intuition, joy and activity, adventure and travel, Izzy was the one who picked my husband and she saved my first born son’s life. She protected her inner circle and challenged our way of life. I started out as a communication major and now 15 years later I’m a pet nutrition counselor and honestly it was because of the great impact of her on my life. Animals grow and shape us in a way that human connections can’t.
I would give anything to have one more day with Izzy. When I knew it was time to say goodbye my husband could see how much pain I was in and said that we could cancel the appointment and keep her for as long as I needed to. I told him that that just didn’t feel right to me. Letting a dog go isn’t about us, it is about them. It is about letting them be released from pain and for Izzy, my wild dog, she was trapped in a dark box at the end. By saying goodbye, I was releasing her from that box and letting run free again, free from a body that was ultimately holding her great spirit back. I knew that I was doing the right thing by her while at the same time I was doing the unimaginable to myself.
Two nights before Izzy’s final appointment I had a dream that to this day felt like a great gift from Izzy’s spirit. I dreamt that my husband and I took Izzy to the hospital and the tech put in the catheter. The doctor then came in and gave the euthanasia drug but instead of dying, Izzy got up, walked out of the hospital and into a lake. She stood in the lake, up to her ankles and watched the sunset. I joined her and when I got to her she jumped up on me like she did the first day I adopted her and gave me a big kiss. I of course woke up crying, however, I felt deep down it was the message I needed to make the right decision.
I’m not sure if anyone will read this, but honestly I felt drawn to write out my story of grief to bring about some healing to my own heart. Sharing our story, feeling all the emotions, shedding some more tears, letting go of what I can’t control and hopefully offering myself forgiveness will hopefully bring some shape back to the foundation that was so greatly shaken by this great loss. I totally understand now the analogy of “picking up the pieces” that loss has created in ones life. Pieces of me, life beyond loss.